White Girls Can't Jump

At least not this White Girl...

No, I'm not talking about the physical ability to jump. I can do that just fine (to a certain extent) thank you very much. Nope, I'm talking about the ability to simply hit a single button vis-a-via a controller and watch as my on-screen avatar does the same thing. Only, it doesn't happen that way.

I don't know why I fail so hard at jumping in video games, but I do. My husband got his first real taste of just how hard I fail while watching me play Darksiders. If you've played the game you know there is A LOT of lava and A LOT of crevices to jump over to avoid such lava. If you haven't, well...trust me, there is. It wouldn't be hell on earth without so much hot lava I suppose, but it's terribly inconvenient to those who are jump challenged. It got so bad the other day that my husband had tears rolling down his cheeks as he watched me fail again...and again...and again. I finally looked at him and said, "Yeah, I know. Not only did War lose all his powers but apparently he also got really really dumb and clumsy". This sent us both into uncontrollable fits of laughter. After all, I really like to get into the mindset of my characters when I play (it's fun to take on that role bit more personally - a topic for another post I suppose) but the thought of a clumsy, slow, somewhat stupid War was just too much for me to contain. Honestly, War should just be able to part the lava like the red sea but there wouldn't be much challenge in that.

My problem with jumping goes back as far as I can remember actually. Lord knows how I made it through Mario in my youth. I remember playing the game Threads of Fate for Playstation. I was so excited as it was billed and RPG and those don't get so demanding with the jumping. But what it turned out to be was a modified adventure platform. And if you know anything about Platforms, they are going to ask you to jump. The game was designed to be played through as one of two main characters; either Mint or Rue. Mint was a magic user and Rue was more physical. Once you played through with one of them the object was then to go back through and play as the other since they had different story lines. Needless to say, I was so frustrated after playing through with Mint I never went back and played with Rue. It's kinda like half reading a novel or reading through a book and skipping out on certain parts that pertained to one of the characters. It made me sad really to never get the whole story.

If you've played World of Warcraft you know there's no real jumping involved here either. Of course there was ONE area you needed to perfect the jump and I failed at it. If you're old school... you'll remember that you need to jump over a crevice off the chain in Black Rock Spire to get to Upper Black Rock Spire. It wasn't hard. You just needed to jump over a small crevice. Needless to say I held up my group every single time. Good thing I was the main group's healer or they probably would have left my sorry ass standing on the ledge every time. Old school and still don't remember? I'm not surprised...after all, to almost everyone else in the universe this was a non-issue.

It's not a spatial thing. I can see just fine where I need to jump and I KNOW when I need to hit the button to jump. It somehow just seems to fail. I'm not talking about time sensitive jumping that needs to be done correctly and quickly either. I'm talking about the "standing at the edge of the precipice staring down and you simply need to 'jump' to get over it- take your time- no pressure" sort of jumping. I stand there. I see I need to jump. I move forward while hitting the button. SPLOOSH.... "Ahhh...LAVA! FIRE! IT BURNS". And not only does this happen once, but it will happen again and again and again. I quite honestly don't know how my husband contains himself. If I were watching such video game incompetence I don't think I could keep myself from ripping the controller out of the hands of the idiot who keeps screwing up something so simple so that the game can move forward and I can watch more than the same spastic failure over and over and over again.

My "condition" will not stop me from playing. After all, the need to jump in almost all video games is like the need for breathing. I think at my age I'm never going to get any better at it. I could seek jump therapy. Maybe I could go back to "jump boot camp" or something and force myself to play jump intense games. Or maybe, I can continue to laugh until I cry and just keep trying while I'm playing because there's nothing else I can do. After all, it's true; white girls can't jump (at least not this one).

I'm probably going to hell...

I have to say that I have been intrigued with EA's Dante's Inferno since last year's E3. Not because of the game play, not because of the story, but rather because of the hype that has surrounded the game since E3.

Like many things that people might not otherwise give a second look, Dante's Inferno grabbed my attention because of protesters at E3. Now, I'm still not firmly convinced that they weren't plants by EA for exactly that reason, but the protest did in fact grab my attention and has held it long enough for me to say, "Hey, I really should play Dante's Inferno." So, if they weren't EA plants they really should consider applying for a marketing position. On a side note, the flyer that the protesters were giving out gave their "home base" as Portland, OR. The city of "weird" and my current home location. Given that, it could go either way. They could in fact have been real life protesters OR they could have been EA plants under the guise of coming from Portland, OR because it's just so damn believable you'd get such raging stupidity for a protest from here. I actually didn't discover this until I got home from E3 and was going through all my swag about a week later. It was like finding $20 bucks tucked in a pair of jeans; pure joy.

You can see that the protesters were a much better and cooler display than the actual EA display inside E3. Sure, big screens are cool but they certainly aren't as cool as old ladies holding signs claiming EA is the antichrist.

If you watched the Superbowl or looked online at any of the Superbowl commercials then you might have caught EA's ad for this game. If not, let me help you out:

I have to say that when I first heard that there was going to be a Dante's Inferno Superbowl ad, I was pretty excited. After all, they've done an amazing job at the marketing for this: a Facebook game where you could send people to hell, the book tie in and the (ahem) protesters. So, the ad for the Superbowl was going to be pretty over the top right? WRONG...

Seriously, EA...what were you thinking? This is one of the worst ads for a game- ever. Did it even cost you anything to make? Did you give your marketers the day off or were they off grabbing a double shot, skinny, no whip frap and you let your lawyers take a stab at making a commercial? Seriously, it's that dry. I believe the game already has set a precedent for over the top marketing and tie-ins and the best they could come up with is game play and a overlaid song... whoever thought of that commercial should go to hell...seriously.

Now. I found this little gem on Youtube. Don't watch if you're easily offended. It's says it was a banned EA commercial. I don't know the truth to it. IF it was...kudos to EA. That is the sort of over the top marketing I'd come to expect with this game. IF it wasn't, then EA seriously should have thought about putting this commercial on during the Superbowl. Seriously, I can't stop laughing. If I believed in hell, I'd probably go to there for this one.

One other side note: I haven't bought the game yet but probably will at some point. Honestly, it looks like another "save the princess" game using the same rehashed game play style as God of War and Darksiders. But hey, like I said, the hype around the game got me interested... however EA, you ALMOST lost me with the Superbowl ad.

(in case the above isn't showing correctly, here's the URL: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f14ydqOn9eo)

I'll forgive you...this time.

(Thanks to Undercover Geek Girl for feeding the idea for this topic to me)

Future of Geek

As I was watching the Superbowl, reading an ethnography on Everquest while checking Twitter, I happen to look up and saw my daughter. I couldn't help but close the netbook and set the book down, laughing so hard I had tears. I then looked at my husband and said, "Raising the future geek...we're doing it right". What was my daughter doing that caused such a reaction? In one hand she had her DS playing a game and in the other she had her phone texting a friend from school. It was pure poetry in motion.

My daughter is 10 and is definitely following in mom's geek footsteps. She loves video games (was disappointed just this evening that I wasn't going to pick up playing Darksiders after the Superbowl), has been begging for us to start a tabletop game and tries as best as a 10 year old can to keep up with current technology. She loves reading manga and watching anime and her book collection has some amazing works (like those from Neil Gaiman). When I look at sites like thinkgeek.com she is right there with me, building her wish list which could rival mine. The thing is though, she doesn't consider herself a geek. Mom's a geek, she's just cool. This got me thinking... what is going to happen to the future of "geek".

"Geek" and the concept thereof has gone mainstream in a big way. People like me have paved the way for future generations of geeks to go forth and not even realize that it wasn't always cool to be a geek. I have always proudly worn my geekhood like a badge, screaming at every opportunity, "I AM A GEEK, HERE ME RECITE THE LINEAGE OF ". Geek is now sexy. Geek is now powerful. Geek as we now know it is cool. I confirmed this with my daughter. I asked her, "If someone at school came up to you and called you a geek, what would you think?". Her response - "I'd think it was a compliment".

I had to explain to my daughter what it meant to be "geek" when I was growing up. Needless to say she was a little shocked. Geek has grown up. Geeks have paved the wave for future generations of geeks to never know the hiding, humiliation and trauma that came with being a geek. So, does this mean the next generation is truly "geek"? If geek is now hip, don't we need to find some other moniker for this new generation? Don't get me wrong, I love being a geek and I love passing that legacy onto my kids but I can't help think that being a geek means more...it's not just about the doing but it's also about the experience of "coming up geek" and my "coming up geek" experience was so fundamentally different that I'm not sure it's the same thing anymore.

Of course, I could be wrong and I'm just being an old geek that just plain out doesn't get the new generation of geek. Either that, or I'm being selfish; the experience and title of geek is mine and I'm not sharing with my kids. After all, their geek isn't my geek, so I can't help but wonder exactly what the future of "geek" is.

My 10K dream

When most "normal" people daydream about what they'd do with 10K, they probably think about dream vacations, home improvements, paying down bills or maybe a nice new car. When I think about what to do with10K, I think about the next gaming machine I'd like to purchase. The thought of my dream machine leaves me starry eyed and scheming how to come up with the money.

There's something about building a new machine that is exhilarating and exciting...and when I dream, I dream BIG! I've wanted a new machine for the past 3 years when my current machine started showing signs of aging. Don't get me wrong, my current machine worked just fine, it just wasn't top of the line anymore. While my husband sits and plays with options for his dream car (aBMW, M5 series), I sit and price out different PC components. It's a strange dynamic but it works. It's been a dream to get an amazing new machine for awhile, but now it's imperative.

You see, my current gaming machine died recently. It's not only sad because I now can't game, but now I'm scrambling to figure out exactly how to do my PhD research (as it involves gaming). Realistically I could buy something with a decent graphics card, enough RAM, and good processor for a fraction of the cost and still be okay. But it would just be a stop gap to me. Kinda like putting your finger in the hole that developed in the dam. I would resent my machine for not giving me goosebumps when I turned it on and heard the hum of perfection. Since me and my PC need to have a close relationship, that sort of resentment just won't do. However, the reality of the situation is that I just don't have 10k (hence the dream part).

When I giddily bounce up and down, practically foaming at the mouth talking about the specs of my dream machine, my husband just looks at me and says, "No ONE needs a 10k gaming machine". He's right. I know he is. However, no on NEEDS a 100K car either. I could probably tone down my machine to a more responsible 6k or so...after all, who needs 4, 120 GB solid state hard drives in one machine? My position stands though, if you're going to spend 6K on something, why not spend the extra money and make it what you really want. It's a lot like him getting his BMW and not putting in the heated leather seats. What's the point? A Honda Civic will get you as easily from point A to point B and a prebuilt Dell would also allow me to game. The point though is that it doesn't give me the excitement, the status and the feeling of pure unadulterated joy that I'm looking for. He wants performance and power packed in a sleek package under the hood of a car and I want performance and power packed in the sleek case of a PC tower. Getting my dream machine would also make me feel at geeky peace with the world knowing that I had something so amazing. To me it would be the ultimate status symbol of my girl geekery. It would scream, "I'M NOT JUST ANY GAMER GIRL...I'M SO HARDCORE I HAVE A MACHINE YOU FANBOYS CAN ONLY DREAM ABOUT". After all, this is the type of machine that you consider trading your kids for or maybe selling a kidney...it's the type of machine you keep a picture of in your wallet next to a picture of your kids so you can show them both off like the proud parent you are.

So, I shall continue dreaming and scheming of my 10K machine. Maybe I can pick up a teaching job or two to fund the dream. Maybe it will just have to continue to be a dream for now. One day though...one day I'll have my dream machine.

And oh...did I mentioned I can get it in PINK?!

(My dream machine comes from Origins PC...check out their site at http://www.originpc.com/index_us.asp)

Fail State

I read a great article in Play magazine called "Getting Over Game Over: Are fail states a vestigial appendage of games design or an essential part of play?" by John Constantine. It's a small one page article packed with a whole lot of thought. After reading, my mind got into a whirl and I started thinking of the function of gameplay and what our human need for playing games is. How does this ultimately drive game design? When designers sit down and begin the process are they concerned with story? Are they concerned with game control? Are they concerned with art? Are they concerned with the "fun" aspect? How about the escape aspect? I would argue that absolutely all of these are considered. But do they consider the human need to play? How about deeply ingrained cultural satisfaction? More over, how does the satisfaction of play ultimately drive the need for what Mr. Constantine called the "fail state of video games"?

Humans have an intrinsic need to play. Video games are play for the modern era and technology has just about reached a point where this play medium is only limited by our imagination. When we're only limited by our imagination though why do we seem to always come back to games that have good guys and bad guys, winners and losers? As Constantine pointed out, why do we have to have game designed focused on health and living or dying? I think the answer is actually a simple one... a very human one. It's what we expect. It's what we know. Most importantly, it's what we can relate to. They say art imitates life and video games as a very power art form of play. What we understand is no one lives forever and you have to be careful of the choices you make. Choices have consequences in real life; after all it's what causes us pause to think. If video games didn't have consequences we'd just barrel through and miss important aspect of the story. Victory or finishing the story would be meaningless. I can remember playing games that were very very hard. I'd get frustrated. I'd scream at the screen. I'd turn it off and walk away. But I always came back and when I finished something difficult or tricky the feeling of accomplishment was amazing. I always wondered what people got of a game if they used a cheat code that allowed them to waltz through the game. What good did that do? Why bother? What possible sense of accomplishment could have gotten out of the game.

Now, this still doesn't answer the question of why can't we have that same sort of accomplishment WITHOUT a hard fail state, like a character dying. After all, games can be puzzled based and still give you the same sense of accomplishment. Myst was extremely popular and it had that same sense of accomplishment but didn't have a hard fail state. When I was in college I played the Gabriel Knight series and it remains to this day one of my all time favorite game series. Again, all the satisfaction without the hard fail state. So why do we have a hard fail state? I don't think the answer is an easy one quiet honestly, certainly not one that can be answered here. I think there are numerous variables that feed into why we need this...and I firmly believe we absolutely NEED to have that fail state. Even though there are no fast and easy answers, I leave you with a few reasons (none which are the end all be all to answering the question). This need for a fail state comes from a triad of reason compromising design, real to unreal transition, and what we relate to as humans. First is a plain and simple design mechanism. How do players know that they've done well? They continue...they don't die. Second, when we step into the role of our game avatar we need to feel a connection or the game's playability and story are just images that flash before our eyes. The way you establish that connection is to give you a vested interest in the avatar and that interest comes in the form of you keeping them alive. Finally, I believe we can probably liken the reason to something a bit more primal. We like games that are combative in nature. We like to play the "hero's" role of beating the monster under our bed (so to speak). We like to play a role that allows us to take control and through brain AND brawn we work through the world and come out winners. It appeals to our nature of being human.

Impact of Narrative

Back in July Wired posted this article about "Unfilmable Texts". The first text listed is Neil Gaiman's Sandman. This is an amazing and unbelievable piece of work that everyone needs to read, even if they don't like comics. This piece of work honestly transcends a mere text. Quite frankly, I'm glad they have never filmed a Sandman movie or the Death:The High Cost of Living film that keeps being kicked around. Certain things simply do not need to be mass marketed on multiple media forms. A book to film translation could never truly capture the beauty of this work. There are so many elements that make this series work, from the intriguing story arc to the amazing artwork. What truly makes this series work though is the narrative.

Don't get me wrong, I understand narration encompasses all written fiction but that doesn't mean the aesthetics of the narrative are always well executed. I keep coming back to the idea of the narrative recently because with the release of Mass Effect 2 everyone keeps talking about how well executed the narrative of the story is. It's more than mere game.... the narrative helps it transcend.

I watched a special on Syfy about Mass Effect 2 and one of the things they kept talking about was the narrative as if this was a new concept. It's not. We have already had some truly impressive games (too many to name here). I've been talking and writing for years about the importance of narrative in games.

No matter how visually stunning or well executed a game is, what makes it transcend is the narrative. Think of all the games for the iPhone and how amazing those were because of the unique new way to play via the accelerometer. It was new, it was exciting but none of those games transcended more than just their game status. Narrative helps video games transcend. More and more companies are coming to understand this (and some already have).

No matter how advanced we get with game play and graphics, truly immervise, fantastic games will focus on their narrative. That's not to say we won't have great games that are just plain and simple fun to play because we always will. In their attempt to transcend, video games need to do a little less hand holding with their big brother film. While video games can look up to their big brother "film" they also need to remember their unique capacity for storytelling. Which brings me back to my first point... comics are comics for a reason and great comics don't need to become film to be brought up to another level of greatness. If the story would have best been told as a movie, then Gaiman would have written as a movie script. Sure, there's a lot of money to be made by this cross marketing, but it's honestly not always in the best interest of the medium to do so.

Rambling Introductions

It's amazing to me that I've NEVER actually blogged. People keep asking, "do you keep a blog"? I typically smile and sheepishly tell them "no". After all, how strange for someone who has researched technology, video games and online communities for the past decade to not have a blog. The truth of why I've never blogged is two fold. First, I never thought I had anything important enough to say. Second, I've never had time. Now that I'm older I don't care so much if what I'm saying is perceived as important. It's important to me so I suppose that's what matters. I have spent the past week looking through numerous blogs and realized that no one truly has anything so important that they *should* be blogging, rather it's a way to *feel* connected (and feeling connected often makes us feel important) in our hyper-real communicative culture. So, with the thought of casting my net to feel connected and to perhaps feel important, I decided to start blogging. Plus, I have to give props to my two co-workers who blog. As I enjoy reading their blogs, it inspired me to start. Yeah...we all have a little lemming in us.

Now the time aspect is a completely different matter.

I still don't HAVE time. My day starts at 4am and ends around 11 or Midnight. I think I've finally just given up on sleep (okay, that'a a lie but maybe doing something "productive" like blogging will help ease the separation anxiety I have with missing my dear old friend sleep).

I have a newborn, 2 school aged kids, 3 dogs, I'm going full steam ahead with my PhD research, and oh...did I mention I work full time? Yes...it's chaotic, it's insane, it's extremely busy but honestly I wouldn't have it any other way. My life may be a lot of things but it's NEVER dull.

So, with that out of the way, what can you expect to find here? I am a PhD candidate doing research in video games so expect to hear ALOT about video games, anthropology, and the research process in general. I'm also a geek by nature so expect to see a variety of geekery in various forms (books, movies, TV...). And occasionally you'll hear about the insanity of what happens when all the different hats I wear intersect in meaningful and blog worthy ways.