Couple's Therapy with WoW

Let me start off saying that my husband and I are just fine...we just never get to spend anytime together. Our life is one big blur of activity; work, kid's activities (dance and Tae Kwon Do), Mike's Tae Kwon Do, and my PhD research. Even on the weekends I book end my days by getting up at 7:30am so I can leave the house by 8am to do 4 or so hours of PhD work and then end the day by hopping online around 5pm to do more PhD work until I pass out (11pm is usually my hitting point). So... in a week, that leaves 5 hours on Saturday and 5 hours on Sunday to reconnect with my husband. Those 5 hours are typically spent at the park with the kids or some other activity, grocery shopping and cleaning, so the realism of the situation is that my husband and I are left with no hours. I love my husband but the most hours in a day I get to spend with him is sleeping...and I mean sleeping (you can get your mind out of the gutter now!).

We needed *something* to reconnect...something we could do together to feel like a couple does but there just isn't enough hours in the day. After months of trying to figure out how to literally stop time (think: Out of this World, late 80s sitcom) we just gave that up and tried to figure some better options. My husband yells at me now that I need to spend "me" time and find an activity that I like to do that's relaxing... and my reply is always the same "I don't have time". Now, this conundrum is an entirely different issue but it's all part and partial about US spending time together. There's nothing I can give up and I'm not going to let the PhD suffer or drag out longer than it has to...so we finally broke down and had him reactivate his World of Warcraft account. It makes sense because outside work, this is where I spend the majority of my time.

Now, this may seem silly but it's not. Prior to us even dating we both played WoW pretty heavily; however we were divided by faction (he played Alliance and I played Horde). I fooled around on Alliance but wasn't giving up my precious Horde. Of course, I said that, but that all changed when we actually started dating. I gave up my raiding Undead priest to go play Alliance with him. Shame really, that they didn't have all the transfers and faction changes available now; would have saved me from leveling another priest. WoW, as strange as it sounds, connected us. We loved playing together and chatted incessantly about the game, game mechanics, and the cultural nuances that came along with the culture of MMOs (okay...okay...I admit, I MOSTLY did the talking on the last part but he kindly listened to me). I was always playing catch up though to him since I had to restart a character on Alliance side, leaving my guild and Horde family behind.

When the expansion Burning Crusade came out, we both started over together. Him a Draenei Shaman and me a Draenei Paladin. I still missed Horde side but the Draenei looked so damn cool I was okay with Alliance for once. We played these characters all the way through that expansion and into the next one.

We stopped playing WoW just shortly after the expansion Wrath of the Lich King came out for a variety of reasons. We went a year, year and a half, without touching the game. I still read the forums and kept up with what was going on knowing my PhD work was around the corner. Once I finally nailed down my PhD work I reactivated my account and started playing. Ironically, when I looked for a guild I found the most interesting offers and most interesting people were Horde side. Thank god for Blizzard not only allowing realm changes but I could now take my level 80 Draenei Pally and convert her to a level 80 Blood Elf Pally. After years and years, I was finally home to Horde (and that folks is yet another post for later).

I found myself engaged and excited with the game and in love with the guild that took me in for my research. I talked incessantly at my husband about the game, the guild and especially about the upcoming Cataclysm expansion. I could see him squirm... I could see him fight it... and when they came out with announcements on upcoming Hunter changes I could see him freak inside a little. The next step of course was a no brainer. We needed a way to connect again and he was chomping inside to get back on WoW.

Funny how things come full circle. I was settled back at home with the Horde and his level 60 Dwarf Hunter...was well...alliance. So, he made the faction change over (again...another post about attachments to "sides" and characters in this game). He just did this last night so we'll see how this all works out. Rolliad the Dwarf is now Rolliad the Orc (I "accidentally" named his character when the game first came out - a funny story for another time). I find myself excited to play with him again. Of course, there are "rules" of play as my primary function on being on WoW is for my PhD but it's good to have him there.

Now I just need to wait for him to "grow up" (reach level 80) so we can actually play together. I think it's ironic that I originally made the change over to Alliance for him and now he's made the change over from Alliance to Horde for me. I'm now his "angel" (his words) there to protect him as he levels just like he was my "guardian" when I leveled my priest. I think once he reaches level 80 and we get him some gear we're going to tear shit up.

The point here is that we finally found a way to connect again...sure, we're connecting via a mediated virtual playspace but it works for us. We literally play 10 feet from one another so we chat as we play and engage with one another. More than that we're doing something together, which is more than we've been able to do for the past 4 or 5 months.

His Orc and my Blood Elf make an odd couple and I told him last night, "Good thing we already have kids because, we could make some ugly children"... ;)

Bad Monday is Bad

The US Supreme Court (not California as previously mentioned...thanks to Rich for the correction) has decided today that it WILL hear the case for computer and video game regulation.

I read this tidbit of news while at my desk and let out a loud exasperated sigh follow by, "Are you fuckin' kidding me?" (oops for inappropriate workplace language but it bubbled out before I could stop it).

At this point...I'm flabbergasted. Words fail me. If you want to know my better articulated position on the matter, read my earlier post on video games and violence.

In the meantime I'm going to sit, stew and do my best to focus on the workday while this thought runs in my head; /all circuits are busy now, please hang up, and try your call again later/.

Why yes, I DO love killing.

I love violent video games… I admit it. I love them. I giggle with joy when I smash an enemy up against a wall repeatedly until he’s no longer alive and get a rush when I hack someone to pieces and the blood sprays everywhere like a fireworks display. I just… like it… I myself am NOT a violent person. I’ve never beaten someone up (unless you count the 4^th grade incident when I *pushed* a 1^st grader down after he followed me for several blocks calling me fat) and have otherwise never engaged in what we might consider “violent behavior”…virtual worlds not withstanding. My son and daughter have both watched me play violent video games and have taken their own stab at trying some. Now, I’ll admit there are some games I do not let my 7 year old son watch… like Silent Hill. But honestly, it’s not because of the violence, rather I’m worried he’ll have nightmares just over the general content of the game; hell, sometimes even I have nightmares. I’m NOT worried about them turning into violent monsters in the least. As a matter of fact, my son, at Tae Kwon Do class, still cowers when they are faux sparring. Neither he nor my daughter have ever gotten into school fights and they’ve never lashed out physically at us either. I attribute this to two things: first I’m an active parent and engage my children in everything they do. I AM big brother watching and I know what they’re doing and when they’re doing it. IF something seems out of line then we talk about it and I don’t dumb it down for them either. Second, they are well aware of the boundaries between fake and real when it comes to violence and especially video game violence. Yes you can run someone through in a video game with a sword and there’s no negative consequences but if you do it in real life then they are not going to bounce right back up. Why do they know this? Well first off because violence in my house isn’t a mystery. I don’t sugar coat it for them. I don’t shield them. I don’t bulk at it. Video game violence in my house is simply a non-issue.

I bring this up because over the course of the next couple of weeks we’re going to see some history unfold around us concerning violent video games. You can read all the details here: http://ag.ca.gov/cms_attachments/press/pdfs/n1742_videogameviolence.pdf

If you want a little more background you can also check out Kotaku’s well written article here: http://kotaku.com/5522469/

I know I’ll be watching this with great interest to see what happens. I know there are going to be a lot of people watching. What disturbs me greatly is that we’re still on this kick about how violent video games are harmful to children. The problem with saying this is that there has never been any conclusive evidence that video games have a negative effect on children. Never. Oh…they’ve tried. They’ve spun data. Weaved tales. But in the end, if you really look at what the data is saying, they’ve got absolutely nothing.

In addition:

"The State fails to explain how to determine what constitutes prohibited violence against an "image of a human being," or why minors should be shielded from depictions of violence against an image of a human being rather than depictions of violence against a zombie, god, robot, or any other fantastical creature. The State's proposal to treat depictions of simulated violence as obscenity has no stopping point.”

I’m not surprised. Violence is culturally constructed and even then our own individual experiences play into that construct making the matter even more complicated. They can’t even agree on what constitutes “violence” in the fantasy context. Is it really violent to beat the living snot out of a twisted undead nurse who vaguely resembles a human because she’s about to beat the snot out of you? I actually know the answer to this because I did research on this very thing several years ago.

I think that we are making a mistake to make violence black and white. There is absolutely no black or white in violence and our comprehension of it; especially when it comes to violence in a virtual setting There are only shades of muted hues of gray.

I love how we’re singling out video games and not putting a lock down on violent movies, or music with violent lyrics or hell…let’s go ahead and start putting a lock down on books that are violent! We single out video games because they’re immersive? Because they’re realistic (I know when I played Darksiders I totally knew that one day I’ll be my chance to beat off angels and demonic underlyings because I most certainly will become one of the four horsemen…one day)? Because kids would rather play them than watch TV or movies now? Or is it because we as a society need the next great scapegoat to blame our shortcomings on? I don’t think it takes a genius to answer that question…

Note: While this is personal opinion taken to its strongest as I feel deeply passionate about it, if you want to see the data to back it up and more objective academic writing, feel free to shoot me and email as I can provide you with the actual research.

White Girls Can't Jump

At least not this White Girl...

No, I'm not talking about the physical ability to jump. I can do that just fine (to a certain extent) thank you very much. Nope, I'm talking about the ability to simply hit a single button vis-a-via a controller and watch as my on-screen avatar does the same thing. Only, it doesn't happen that way.

I don't know why I fail so hard at jumping in video games, but I do. My husband got his first real taste of just how hard I fail while watching me play Darksiders. If you've played the game you know there is A LOT of lava and A LOT of crevices to jump over to avoid such lava. If you haven't, well...trust me, there is. It wouldn't be hell on earth without so much hot lava I suppose, but it's terribly inconvenient to those who are jump challenged. It got so bad the other day that my husband had tears rolling down his cheeks as he watched me fail again...and again...and again. I finally looked at him and said, "Yeah, I know. Not only did War lose all his powers but apparently he also got really really dumb and clumsy". This sent us both into uncontrollable fits of laughter. After all, I really like to get into the mindset of my characters when I play (it's fun to take on that role bit more personally - a topic for another post I suppose) but the thought of a clumsy, slow, somewhat stupid War was just too much for me to contain. Honestly, War should just be able to part the lava like the red sea but there wouldn't be much challenge in that.

My problem with jumping goes back as far as I can remember actually. Lord knows how I made it through Mario in my youth. I remember playing the game Threads of Fate for Playstation. I was so excited as it was billed and RPG and those don't get so demanding with the jumping. But what it turned out to be was a modified adventure platform. And if you know anything about Platforms, they are going to ask you to jump. The game was designed to be played through as one of two main characters; either Mint or Rue. Mint was a magic user and Rue was more physical. Once you played through with one of them the object was then to go back through and play as the other since they had different story lines. Needless to say, I was so frustrated after playing through with Mint I never went back and played with Rue. It's kinda like half reading a novel or reading through a book and skipping out on certain parts that pertained to one of the characters. It made me sad really to never get the whole story.

If you've played World of Warcraft you know there's no real jumping involved here either. Of course there was ONE area you needed to perfect the jump and I failed at it. If you're old school... you'll remember that you need to jump over a crevice off the chain in Black Rock Spire to get to Upper Black Rock Spire. It wasn't hard. You just needed to jump over a small crevice. Needless to say I held up my group every single time. Good thing I was the main group's healer or they probably would have left my sorry ass standing on the ledge every time. Old school and still don't remember? I'm not surprised...after all, to almost everyone else in the universe this was a non-issue.

It's not a spatial thing. I can see just fine where I need to jump and I KNOW when I need to hit the button to jump. It somehow just seems to fail. I'm not talking about time sensitive jumping that needs to be done correctly and quickly either. I'm talking about the "standing at the edge of the precipice staring down and you simply need to 'jump' to get over it- take your time- no pressure" sort of jumping. I stand there. I see I need to jump. I move forward while hitting the button. SPLOOSH.... "Ahhh...LAVA! FIRE! IT BURNS". And not only does this happen once, but it will happen again and again and again. I quite honestly don't know how my husband contains himself. If I were watching such video game incompetence I don't think I could keep myself from ripping the controller out of the hands of the idiot who keeps screwing up something so simple so that the game can move forward and I can watch more than the same spastic failure over and over and over again.

My "condition" will not stop me from playing. After all, the need to jump in almost all video games is like the need for breathing. I think at my age I'm never going to get any better at it. I could seek jump therapy. Maybe I could go back to "jump boot camp" or something and force myself to play jump intense games. Or maybe, I can continue to laugh until I cry and just keep trying while I'm playing because there's nothing else I can do. After all, it's true; white girls can't jump (at least not this one).

I'm probably going to hell...

I have to say that I have been intrigued with EA's Dante's Inferno since last year's E3. Not because of the game play, not because of the story, but rather because of the hype that has surrounded the game since E3.

Like many things that people might not otherwise give a second look, Dante's Inferno grabbed my attention because of protesters at E3. Now, I'm still not firmly convinced that they weren't plants by EA for exactly that reason, but the protest did in fact grab my attention and has held it long enough for me to say, "Hey, I really should play Dante's Inferno." So, if they weren't EA plants they really should consider applying for a marketing position. On a side note, the flyer that the protesters were giving out gave their "home base" as Portland, OR. The city of "weird" and my current home location. Given that, it could go either way. They could in fact have been real life protesters OR they could have been EA plants under the guise of coming from Portland, OR because it's just so damn believable you'd get such raging stupidity for a protest from here. I actually didn't discover this until I got home from E3 and was going through all my swag about a week later. It was like finding $20 bucks tucked in a pair of jeans; pure joy.

You can see that the protesters were a much better and cooler display than the actual EA display inside E3. Sure, big screens are cool but they certainly aren't as cool as old ladies holding signs claiming EA is the antichrist.

If you watched the Superbowl or looked online at any of the Superbowl commercials then you might have caught EA's ad for this game. If not, let me help you out:

I have to say that when I first heard that there was going to be a Dante's Inferno Superbowl ad, I was pretty excited. After all, they've done an amazing job at the marketing for this: a Facebook game where you could send people to hell, the book tie in and the (ahem) protesters. So, the ad for the Superbowl was going to be pretty over the top right? WRONG...

Seriously, EA...what were you thinking? This is one of the worst ads for a game- ever. Did it even cost you anything to make? Did you give your marketers the day off or were they off grabbing a double shot, skinny, no whip frap and you let your lawyers take a stab at making a commercial? Seriously, it's that dry. I believe the game already has set a precedent for over the top marketing and tie-ins and the best they could come up with is game play and a overlaid song... whoever thought of that commercial should go to hell...seriously.

Now. I found this little gem on Youtube. Don't watch if you're easily offended. It's says it was a banned EA commercial. I don't know the truth to it. IF it was...kudos to EA. That is the sort of over the top marketing I'd come to expect with this game. IF it wasn't, then EA seriously should have thought about putting this commercial on during the Superbowl. Seriously, I can't stop laughing. If I believed in hell, I'd probably go to there for this one.

One other side note: I haven't bought the game yet but probably will at some point. Honestly, it looks like another "save the princess" game using the same rehashed game play style as God of War and Darksiders. But hey, like I said, the hype around the game got me interested... however EA, you ALMOST lost me with the Superbowl ad.

(in case the above isn't showing correctly, here's the URL: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f14ydqOn9eo)

I'll forgive you...this time.

(Thanks to Undercover Geek Girl for feeding the idea for this topic to me)

Future of Geek

As I was watching the Superbowl, reading an ethnography on Everquest while checking Twitter, I happen to look up and saw my daughter. I couldn't help but close the netbook and set the book down, laughing so hard I had tears. I then looked at my husband and said, "Raising the future geek...we're doing it right". What was my daughter doing that caused such a reaction? In one hand she had her DS playing a game and in the other she had her phone texting a friend from school. It was pure poetry in motion.

My daughter is 10 and is definitely following in mom's geek footsteps. She loves video games (was disappointed just this evening that I wasn't going to pick up playing Darksiders after the Superbowl), has been begging for us to start a tabletop game and tries as best as a 10 year old can to keep up with current technology. She loves reading manga and watching anime and her book collection has some amazing works (like those from Neil Gaiman). When I look at sites like thinkgeek.com she is right there with me, building her wish list which could rival mine. The thing is though, she doesn't consider herself a geek. Mom's a geek, she's just cool. This got me thinking... what is going to happen to the future of "geek".

"Geek" and the concept thereof has gone mainstream in a big way. People like me have paved the way for future generations of geeks to go forth and not even realize that it wasn't always cool to be a geek. I have always proudly worn my geekhood like a badge, screaming at every opportunity, "I AM A GEEK, HERE ME RECITE THE LINEAGE OF ". Geek is now sexy. Geek is now powerful. Geek as we now know it is cool. I confirmed this with my daughter. I asked her, "If someone at school came up to you and called you a geek, what would you think?". Her response - "I'd think it was a compliment".

I had to explain to my daughter what it meant to be "geek" when I was growing up. Needless to say she was a little shocked. Geek has grown up. Geeks have paved the wave for future generations of geeks to never know the hiding, humiliation and trauma that came with being a geek. So, does this mean the next generation is truly "geek"? If geek is now hip, don't we need to find some other moniker for this new generation? Don't get me wrong, I love being a geek and I love passing that legacy onto my kids but I can't help think that being a geek means more...it's not just about the doing but it's also about the experience of "coming up geek" and my "coming up geek" experience was so fundamentally different that I'm not sure it's the same thing anymore.

Of course, I could be wrong and I'm just being an old geek that just plain out doesn't get the new generation of geek. Either that, or I'm being selfish; the experience and title of geek is mine and I'm not sharing with my kids. After all, their geek isn't my geek, so I can't help but wonder exactly what the future of "geek" is.

Fail State

I read a great article in Play magazine called "Getting Over Game Over: Are fail states a vestigial appendage of games design or an essential part of play?" by John Constantine. It's a small one page article packed with a whole lot of thought. After reading, my mind got into a whirl and I started thinking of the function of gameplay and what our human need for playing games is. How does this ultimately drive game design? When designers sit down and begin the process are they concerned with story? Are they concerned with game control? Are they concerned with art? Are they concerned with the "fun" aspect? How about the escape aspect? I would argue that absolutely all of these are considered. But do they consider the human need to play? How about deeply ingrained cultural satisfaction? More over, how does the satisfaction of play ultimately drive the need for what Mr. Constantine called the "fail state of video games"?

Humans have an intrinsic need to play. Video games are play for the modern era and technology has just about reached a point where this play medium is only limited by our imagination. When we're only limited by our imagination though why do we seem to always come back to games that have good guys and bad guys, winners and losers? As Constantine pointed out, why do we have to have game designed focused on health and living or dying? I think the answer is actually a simple one... a very human one. It's what we expect. It's what we know. Most importantly, it's what we can relate to. They say art imitates life and video games as a very power art form of play. What we understand is no one lives forever and you have to be careful of the choices you make. Choices have consequences in real life; after all it's what causes us pause to think. If video games didn't have consequences we'd just barrel through and miss important aspect of the story. Victory or finishing the story would be meaningless. I can remember playing games that were very very hard. I'd get frustrated. I'd scream at the screen. I'd turn it off and walk away. But I always came back and when I finished something difficult or tricky the feeling of accomplishment was amazing. I always wondered what people got of a game if they used a cheat code that allowed them to waltz through the game. What good did that do? Why bother? What possible sense of accomplishment could have gotten out of the game.

Now, this still doesn't answer the question of why can't we have that same sort of accomplishment WITHOUT a hard fail state, like a character dying. After all, games can be puzzled based and still give you the same sense of accomplishment. Myst was extremely popular and it had that same sense of accomplishment but didn't have a hard fail state. When I was in college I played the Gabriel Knight series and it remains to this day one of my all time favorite game series. Again, all the satisfaction without the hard fail state. So why do we have a hard fail state? I don't think the answer is an easy one quiet honestly, certainly not one that can be answered here. I think there are numerous variables that feed into why we need this...and I firmly believe we absolutely NEED to have that fail state. Even though there are no fast and easy answers, I leave you with a few reasons (none which are the end all be all to answering the question). This need for a fail state comes from a triad of reason compromising design, real to unreal transition, and what we relate to as humans. First is a plain and simple design mechanism. How do players know that they've done well? They continue...they don't die. Second, when we step into the role of our game avatar we need to feel a connection or the game's playability and story are just images that flash before our eyes. The way you establish that connection is to give you a vested interest in the avatar and that interest comes in the form of you keeping them alive. Finally, I believe we can probably liken the reason to something a bit more primal. We like games that are combative in nature. We like to play the "hero's" role of beating the monster under our bed (so to speak). We like to play a role that allows us to take control and through brain AND brawn we work through the world and come out winners. It appeals to our nature of being human.

Impact of Narrative

Back in July Wired posted this article about "Unfilmable Texts". The first text listed is Neil Gaiman's Sandman. This is an amazing and unbelievable piece of work that everyone needs to read, even if they don't like comics. This piece of work honestly transcends a mere text. Quite frankly, I'm glad they have never filmed a Sandman movie or the Death:The High Cost of Living film that keeps being kicked around. Certain things simply do not need to be mass marketed on multiple media forms. A book to film translation could never truly capture the beauty of this work. There are so many elements that make this series work, from the intriguing story arc to the amazing artwork. What truly makes this series work though is the narrative.

Don't get me wrong, I understand narration encompasses all written fiction but that doesn't mean the aesthetics of the narrative are always well executed. I keep coming back to the idea of the narrative recently because with the release of Mass Effect 2 everyone keeps talking about how well executed the narrative of the story is. It's more than mere game.... the narrative helps it transcend.

I watched a special on Syfy about Mass Effect 2 and one of the things they kept talking about was the narrative as if this was a new concept. It's not. We have already had some truly impressive games (too many to name here). I've been talking and writing for years about the importance of narrative in games.

No matter how visually stunning or well executed a game is, what makes it transcend is the narrative. Think of all the games for the iPhone and how amazing those were because of the unique new way to play via the accelerometer. It was new, it was exciting but none of those games transcended more than just their game status. Narrative helps video games transcend. More and more companies are coming to understand this (and some already have).

No matter how advanced we get with game play and graphics, truly immervise, fantastic games will focus on their narrative. That's not to say we won't have great games that are just plain and simple fun to play because we always will. In their attempt to transcend, video games need to do a little less hand holding with their big brother film. While video games can look up to their big brother "film" they also need to remember their unique capacity for storytelling. Which brings me back to my first point... comics are comics for a reason and great comics don't need to become film to be brought up to another level of greatness. If the story would have best been told as a movie, then Gaiman would have written as a movie script. Sure, there's a lot of money to be made by this cross marketing, but it's honestly not always in the best interest of the medium to do so.

Rambling Introductions

It's amazing to me that I've NEVER actually blogged. People keep asking, "do you keep a blog"? I typically smile and sheepishly tell them "no". After all, how strange for someone who has researched technology, video games and online communities for the past decade to not have a blog. The truth of why I've never blogged is two fold. First, I never thought I had anything important enough to say. Second, I've never had time. Now that I'm older I don't care so much if what I'm saying is perceived as important. It's important to me so I suppose that's what matters. I have spent the past week looking through numerous blogs and realized that no one truly has anything so important that they *should* be blogging, rather it's a way to *feel* connected (and feeling connected often makes us feel important) in our hyper-real communicative culture. So, with the thought of casting my net to feel connected and to perhaps feel important, I decided to start blogging. Plus, I have to give props to my two co-workers who blog. As I enjoy reading their blogs, it inspired me to start. Yeah...we all have a little lemming in us.

Now the time aspect is a completely different matter.

I still don't HAVE time. My day starts at 4am and ends around 11 or Midnight. I think I've finally just given up on sleep (okay, that'a a lie but maybe doing something "productive" like blogging will help ease the separation anxiety I have with missing my dear old friend sleep).

I have a newborn, 2 school aged kids, 3 dogs, I'm going full steam ahead with my PhD research, and oh...did I mention I work full time? Yes...it's chaotic, it's insane, it's extremely busy but honestly I wouldn't have it any other way. My life may be a lot of things but it's NEVER dull.

So, with that out of the way, what can you expect to find here? I am a PhD candidate doing research in video games so expect to hear ALOT about video games, anthropology, and the research process in general. I'm also a geek by nature so expect to see a variety of geekery in various forms (books, movies, TV...). And occasionally you'll hear about the insanity of what happens when all the different hats I wear intersect in meaningful and blog worthy ways.